such a long day, so exhausted. Time for bed.
Steve awkwardly stared at his cup, clearing his throat. “I…” He didn’t know how to respond. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to give you that impression… I’m not looking for a relationship right now, and if- if I was, it would be with a man.”
Elle blushed deeply. “I..uh no no I didn’t mean in that way. Just as friends.. I.. i’m sorry I don’t know human customs that well yet.”
Steve nodded, feeling words stick in his throat. It was the longest conversation he had had with anybody in a long time and he felt awkward and anxious.
Elle fidgeted with her straw a bit, this was longest she had conversed with someone that wasn’t a co-worker. “So…would you like to go out to dinner some time? Since we’ve covered coffee already. That is how it goes right, coffee then dinner? No that I’m saying this is a date or anything I just…” she trailed off, seeming flustered a moment. She didn’t have friends really, nor did she even really date, so it was all confusing to her. Elle just wasn’t used to human customs just yet.
"I like to draw," he shrugged. "But just for myself."
"Ah, drawing is fun, and relaxing. I myself paint." She smiled. "Usually for myself as well."
Look, I made a gif of this most awesome wizard at the Leaky Cauldron!
DUDE IS READING ‘A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME’ BY STEPHEN HAWKING
I NEVER REALIZED
are you serious
I always assumed wizards just ignored science, because the fact that “magic” exists, can explain anything. But there are MuggleBorn wizards, ones who, until they were eleven, lived in the real world and learned science and things. Did they all just abandon that normal, muggle knowledge, like Harry did? It’s always been there, itching in the back of my mind.
FOUR FOR YOU SCIENCE WIZARD
YOU GO SCIENCE WIZARD
can we point out that he’s doing wandless magic too
like voldemort couldnt even do that shit
molly fuckin weasley couldnt fuckin do that
who are you
Quick, somebody write a book series about the adventures of Magic Prodigy Science Wizard!!!
PLEASE SOMEONE JUST DO IT
Alan Baker had no use for wands, of course. If one were to Prior Incantato his outdated, duct-taped rod of walnut wood and dragon heartstring, its most recent use would have been the enchantment of the long-lived neurons in Alan’s own mind. This enchantment, possible only for those who were capable of seeing themselves as a complex amalgamation of neural impulses, allowed him to bypass both wands and words. Alan did this, not for show, not for power, but because wandwork distracted him from his reading.
Unfortunately, there was no legal spell to get rid of barflies.
“Hey- hey mate, you gotta- gotta minute to-“
Sobrius, Alan thought, placing one hand on his neighbor’s forehead without looking up. He pondered whether or not to cast a silencing barrier, even in violation of the Leaky Cauldron’s safety code.
“Thanks,” said the now-sober man, “Readin’ more of that Muggle trash, I see.”
Alan closed his eyes and counted to three, but when he opened them, the man was still there. Alan lowered his “muggle trash” in defeat, meeting the baggy, bloodshot eyes of the wizard sitting across from him.
Alan leaned forward, placing his hands steeple-like on the table. “Mr. Fletcher, do you know why time turners don’t send you into space?”
“The sky, y’mean? Cause they’re fer time turnin’, not apparation.”
Alan had to take a deep breath. “No,” he replied, “If time turners weren’t anchored to anything, the Earth’s rotation alone would be enough to ensure a time traveler’s demise. But someone at the ministry was clever enough to anchor them to a carefully guarded object that never moves relative to the Earth.”
“Fascinat’n,” slurred Mundungus, whose eyes had glazed over once it became clear that Alan didn’t actually have a time turner on him.
“But time turners are still very limited,” continued Alan, more to himself than to Mundungus, “They can’t go more than seven hours back, and not forward at all, and only in increments of one hour, and they only work on Earth… no, they’re very clumsy, if one truly pauses to think about it.”
“What’s yer point?”
“My point is that while wizards are slowly stagnating in their backwards remnant of the Dark Ages, Muggles are making progress, ever reaching for the light. Do you know that they don’t need magic to craft a hand of living silver?”
“Bah,” was Mundungus’s only reply, “You’d be best mates with that Weasley nutcase at the ministry, you would.”
Alan stood up, silently casting an infantes gelata to check for paradoxes. “I don’t know why I bother with you,” he sighed, “you’ve just wasted another two minutes of my time. Perhaps I bother because I have time to waste.”
And he twisted, as if to apparate, but instead faded out of existence with a distinct vworp. The air swirled in the wake of his departure, blowing back Mundungus’s straggly ginger hair.
“Muggleborns,” the short wizard muttered, then turned back to his drink.
Thirty minutes earlier, Alan lounged contentedly within his quieting barrier, stirring his cup of tea absently and rereading one of his favourite Muggle books. He wondered, vaguely, which planet held the nearest sapient life, and what their magic would look like…
This rereading, however, would be slightly shorter than the last. Even within the barrier, the presence of another at the table tickled at Alan’s consciousness. He set down his book (rather forcefully, he had to admit,) and looked up. The bloodshot eyes of Mundungus Fletcher didn’t meet him when his own rose.
“Hello,” mouthed the man. Finite Incantatum, thought Alan.
“Hello,” he answered, “Can I help you?”
“No, not really. Well, maybe. Well, probably. Have you seen anything strange lately? Disappearing cats, people moving backwards, variances in the time vortex causing precise and intentional reversal of the course of events?”
Alan couldn’t help but stare. “Er…now that you mention it, I was just…” he trailed off as he glanced out the window and did a double take. There was a 1960s-style Muggle police telephone box in the middle of Diagon Alley. “…Is…is that a telephone box?”
“No. Yes. Recreation. Mock-up. Don’t worry, nobody will notice,” the man said, waving his hand dismissively even as he pulled on a pair of what appeared to be cheap 3-D glasses. “What I want to know,” he murmured conspiratorially, “is what’s giving you that floaty, aurary, bizarrey stuff all over you, because that should not be happening to a human. Person. I said person”
Alan’s eyebrows furrowed. “First of all, this is Diagon Alley. Most people out there wouldn’t know a police box from a pillbox, especially given it’s bright blue. Second of all, those glasses shouldn’t give you the ability to see what you’re seeing. And thirdly, Expelliarmus.”
“Expelliwhat?” the man squawked, just as a long, chunky metallic object with a blue tip shot out of his jacket pocket and into Alan’s hand. A quick Identification spell told him all he needed to know.
“Fuzzy logic neural interface configured for ease of use, limited nonverbal manipulation of mechanical and electronic objects…Interesting. And leaps and bounds beyond anything wizards or Muggles can conjure up. What are you?”
The man stared at him for a few minutes before breaking out in a wide smile. “Hello. I’m the Doctor. Let me tell you a little bit about the universe…”
IT GOT BETTER
I am done, this is the end of the world, it’s all downhill from here
Steve just grunted and shrugged. “I’m just me.”
"You’re so humble." she chuckles some. "So..do you have any hobbies?"
Steve smiled softly and ducked his head. “I hear that a lot.”
A soft giggle escaped her and she chews on her straw a moment. “Hmm, perhaps it’s your reputation. For me it goes beyond that, I could care less about your reputation. You as a person, you’re warm and you feel just…It’s hard to explain. ” she blushes and looks down at the table.
A smile curls onto Ariella’s lips as Elle nips at her then her eyes grow a little wider, “Oh!” she says before pecking Elle’s lips once more with a small chuckle then turning around to flip the pancakes.
"You missed a visit from my mother.." she says after she flips them but doesn’t turn around, "Probably best though. That her had yet to know, properly who I was… Don’t even know if she knew I have a girlfriend yet… It’s odd having to bounce between a River that knows me and one that doesn’t." she lightly chuckles.
Elle smiles at the kiss and watched her bum as she returns to the pancakes. She listen to her speak as she admires her from afar.
"Oh? Well, next time that particular one comes around I’ll have to properly snog you in front of her." Elle smirked and chuckled. "Unless that’s going a bit too far."
"I’ve heard," he nodded.
Elle smiled and leaned back in her seat. “I’m glad you didn’t write me off as crazy for telling you all that.” she chuckled. “Or believed me for that matter. I don’t normally tell people all that. I just feel like I can trust you.”
Steve shrugged. “We have wars. We have problems. We aren’t like pets in a cage.”
"As I’ve seen, but nothing quite as bad as I’ve experienced." Elle shrugged as well. "Though for the age of your technology, there have been some pretty nasty problems the past few years."
"I see…" He nodded. "I’ve met people from other planets before… Didn’t end well."
"Ah, well. I’ve no ill intentions. I wouldn’t want to destroy or hurt the place I reside in. Or any other place for that matter, I’ve seen enough war and destruction to last me." Elle fidgets with her straw a bit. "It’s nice to kinda settle down a bit and try to be normal, by Human standards."
"Where are you from?"
"It was called Gallifrey. It’s no longer in existence." She replied softly and adverted her gaze to the window for a moment. "It was destroyed in a war." she looked to him once more and managed a small smile. "Earth is my home now."